Currently Digging: uy-oy!!!! sarap nito! the best longganisa ever!
Lately, seems like the world is talking to me. I remember one of my clinical instructors in psych before, she said: 'Listen to the world, cuz it speaks to you.' I really do believe that it does.
After series of events with school applications, well, I could say that Philippine med schools are really not into providing me an education, except for one last school left. Which, in fact, is my first choice anyway. I just don't like the feeling of having NO CHOICE or being left with an ONLY choice. Nonetheless, I'd grab one last chance I have. And if i can't make it through, that is my final sign from the world. But if I do, then I have a lot of things to think about.
Anyway, medschool is beyond the point of this blog. I will blog about that in some other time. MY frustrations and the differences in the application process, etc.
And, the feeling of being lost here in the Philippines is far beyond the discussion of my blog today.
I just told my mom: "Ma, sulit na yung bayad sa review class.. not only for the knowledge i've gained, more for the LIFE EXPERIENCES I've had several weeks ago. Didn't they say that we learn best if we experience it? Hmm... then I must be learning a whole lot.... more than the context of the review....
To begin with, I love watching people. Observing people somehow relaxes me. I like to watch their actions, reactions, way of talking etc. Our class used to be just the typical--- clustered in cliques, what schools they came from, or undergrad courses etc. But we smile on each other, and greet some with a nod or by raising both eyebrows. It's just fun knowing everybody, in some ways interacting with pinoy and pinay youths, and just being around filipinos in closer proximity than just the usual aggregate i belong while walking in the streets or riding a jeepney. In some ways, I felt like I belong in the Philippines again, still not completely though. But in some ways...
I must admit that the first few weeks of review is the toughest for me. Do u know the feeling of being embarassed inside cuz of not understanding anything at all?!?!!? Well, thats what I had. I failed the initial assessment exam for one. But it was just a wake up call for me to study harder... that was fine. What embarassed me the most is when the professors started teaching, and I couldn't understand words and sentences they were saying. HONESTLY, I felt like shit those days, felt so DAMN STUPID! Coz working in the medical field for the past 2 years, I should know the terms right? But when they started throwing terms at us, I was bombarded with foreign words I haven't heard before. Uhhhh.... brain cells not functioning here.. in short circuit... sparks going on... OMG! And all i could do is either, take it slowly and process it inside me, or copy from my seatmate's notes. I was probably annoying my seatmates, asking too many questions like : "what?" "what did he say?" "what was that again?" "Anong sabi?" "Ano daw yun?" etc...
An example? Someone asked: "Oh sinong gusto magpeja sa inyo? (who wants to take pehdja here?). And I gave the instructor the look of WTF? Lea processing....
processing....
processing....
Thinking now, what is peja?
processing....
processing....
Finally, the instructor asked me: "Ikaw anong specialization gusto mo?" (What specialization do you like?) And I simply said Cardiology. And she loudly said: "Ahhhhh Karjo!!!"
Then it clicked. Hit my like a truck! PEJA=pedia! KARJO=cardio!!
Whew.... at this point... my armpit was sweating bad.... but that wasn't just it.
BIOLOGY, ZOOLOGY CLASSES.... omg! My braincells are processing triple time! I couldn't catch up with the lecture, I was processing foreign words so bad!!! :,( it was sucky, i really felt stupid!!!! I smiled and laughed at it, but deep inside, I was about to cry. That was hard. :(
other examples i can remember:
YO-sino-fils = eosinophils
BAH-so-fil = basophils
FAH-go-sayt = phagocytes
mehTO-prolol = metoprolol
intra-VEYN-yus = intravenous
sehk-kri-tin = secretin
JA-betis = diabetes
+ more to come once I remember them.... :)
I had to relearn how to listen... it was hard... but i'm getting it now! :]
for now got to go!!! had to go with my sister to a binyag!! later...